Monday, June 29, 2009

Alpha Courses

I make no secret of the fact that I am an atheist, I don't believe in God
(not even a little bit), however there have been times in my own life when
things have seemed inexplicably bleak and I have wished that there was
something outside of day to day life from which I could garner some support.
I have often found myself, during these times, looking at people who have
some religious affiliation or system of faith and feeling a little jealous
of their ability to believe. For me not believing in God is not something I
choose, I think about the idea and it makes no sense, I could no more try to
be a believer then I could try to fly - there is an inherent contradiction
between the way my mind works and the dictates of blind faith and this is
okay, because if I was to turn to God or religion when life seemed a little
too difficult then it would be no better a solution then turning to alcohol
or drugs or any other crutch.

What struck me last night while watching a programme about the Alpha courses
in the UK was the people who were attending these and what they seemed to be
looking for, there was a sort of sadness in them and they, understandably,
were seeking something to create meaning. What the organisers of the courses
seemed to do was to prey on this in the most horrifically manipulative
manner. I am sometimes accused of being to harsh in the expression of my
views of religiosity, but it is things like the Alpha course that inspire
this, every individual is entitled to believe in whatever they want, and I
can even understand the impetus to attempt to convert others, but the Alpha
course crossed a line between conversion and coercion, just watching their
methods made me feel uncomfortable and worried for the attendees. Perhaps
there needs to be some sort of a regulation, or at least a system to monitor
these types of programmes?

Instead of working I wrote this poem... well it amused me!!


This may not be the most subtle approach
For the things I have it to say
I swear I love you with all my heart
But darling, you’re an awful lay.

To be fair I must acknowledge
That you put everything in the right place
But must you really pant so hard
And drool all over my face?

You do realise my breasts are attached
They are an actual part of me
They are not meant to be juggled and pulled about
What do you think that will achieve?

My nipples have nerve endings in great supply,
They are sensitive to a touch
So no biting or pinching or twisting required
If you don’t mind too much.

As for your kisses, (if they can be so called)
Must you really use so much spit
And force your tongue to the back of my throat
I don’t enjoy it one bit.

If you have been smoking, could you please brush your teeth
Before you latch onto my face,
It’s not a bit pleasant or sexy or nice
When your breaths a disgrace.

I won’t go into details, but when you’re thrusting about
Could you please try to improve your aim
And hit the right spot one thrust out of two
To insure our mutual gain.

For my final word on the subject
Could you please get it in to your head
That the only gentlemanly and kind thing to do
Is to give me the dry side of the bed.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Irish Civil Partnership Bill

Today the Government published it's (sorry excuse for a) Civil Partnership Bill, it's available here

And the reaction from is below, or available here:

Introduction of same-sex civil marriage ignored despite public support

Following the publication of the civil partnership bill today, MarriagEquality is calling on the Government to acknowledge that the bill is forcing lesbians and gay men to accept a second rate set of rights, and ensures that lesbian and gay relationships will be regarded as inferior to married couples. MarriagEquality advocate that the Government instead move to provide lesbians and gay men with equality by providing access to civil marriage.

Research conducted by Lansdowne Market Research shows that 81% of the public agree that everyone should receive equal treatment from the state regardless of their sexuality. 61% further believe that denying lesbians and gay men civil marriage is a form of discrimination.

Grainne Healy, Co-Chair, MarriagEquality, commented, "MarriagEquality want equal marriage rights for lesbians and gay men. Civil partnership is not marriage like, and does not confer marriage like rights on lesbians and gay men who choose to legally register their relationship through it. The civil partnership legislation is deficient on so many levels and discriminates against lesbians, gay men and their children to such an extent that MarriagEquality are calling on to Government to legislate for civil marriage now."

A deeply upsetting aspect of the civil partnership legislation is that the Government has totally ignored lesbian and gay parents and their children. In reality all children should have equal access to their parents and vice-versa, and should have the same rights as all children in Ireland. 75% of the public believe that all children should be treated equally by the state. Furthermore, a same-sex couple will not be eligible to apply to be considered to adopt a child under civil partnership: not even the child of their registered civil partner.

Moninne Griffith, Director, MarriagEquality said, "Discrimination against lesbians and gay men continues through the announcement of the civil partnership bill. It simply isn't enough and reinforces that belief that we are outsiders on the margins of society. The fact that through this bill the Government has given us 'some' rights but not equal rights is fundamentally flawed. Lesbians and gay men should be entitled to the same rights and responsibilities as their straight counterparts. The time for change is now."

Ms Griffith continued, "Ireland is in the midst of uncertain times, and whether gay, lesbian or straight we must unite to overcome adversity. The same is true for the matter of equal access to civil marriage. It is not just an issue for lesbians and gay men, but for every human being on this island. Until Ireland is a society of equals, we must unite and fight for what is right."

Further information on MarriagEquality can be found on or by calling 01 6599 459.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

But I'm being good!!!

It seems very, very unfair that, because I have actually given up smoking (5 days and counting) I get sick…


Since I’ve stopped I’ve developed a horrible cough (my poor lungs are trying to expel the tar built up from ten years at twenty a day) and I’ve an ear infection to boot (which is viciously painful and has rendered me slightly deaf in my left ear).


It’s enough to make me want to start again, just to get back to normal, but we will persevere against all the odds…


I’m developing a disturbingly close relationship with the Nicorette patches… they are my new best friends.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A moment that changed your life.

I was asked recently to pinpoint a moment that changed my life, on first consideration I said that it was taking part in a University Access Programme which late led to my going to University and getting a degree in English Studies. On reflection that’s a little to simplified.


I found out about the Programme from a friend in a drama group when I was sixteen, he was close to completing it and was telling me about how much he enjoyed it, making me decide to apply. So the moment that changed my life was sitting with him in a bowling alley while he told me about the course.




If I had never joined the drama group in question we would never have had that conversation so the moment that changed my life was sitting on a bus with my sister (on the way to a school friend’s birthday party) and seeing an advertisement for the drama group and deciding to join.




I was held back in school when I was seven, if I hadn’t been held back then I wouldn’t have been going to the same party that day and might never have seen the advertisement for the drama group, so the moment that changed my life was being held back when I was seven.




The reason that I was held back in school is that I was three weeks too young to be accepted into the next year, so the moment that changed my life was actually being born on the day that I was born, rather than three weeks earlier.




I was born exactly on schedule so, really, the moment that changed my life was being conceived.




If my parents had never met than I wouldn’t have been conceived at all, they met when a friend of my Mother’s was too drunk to get a lift home on a motorcycle and instead my Dad gave them a lift in his car.


So, the moment that changed my life was some nameless girl drinking far too much at a wedding and then making a drunken show of her self.


Seems appropriate.



Pride and Prejudice and Zombies...

If Pride and Prejudice is one of your favorite books but, like me, you often find yourself thinking 'If only there were more Zombies' then fret no more!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


This post is to let you know that the petition of solidarity for Survivors of Institutional Child Abuse in Ireland can be signed online at the following website.

All support for those who were victims is appreciated,

For those of you who live in Ireland the March of Solidarity will start from the Garden of Remembrance today at 12noon.


Garden of Remembrance to the Dáil. Please gather at the Garden of Remembrance at noon and please proceed in total silence throughout the march past GPO to the Dáil.


The survivors hope you can attend and encourage as many people and public organisations as possible to participate in the march. It is suggested that all participants wear a white ribbon for the silent march and bring a child’s shoe to represent the lives lost in the institutions. Those who cannot attend can sign and post the Petition of Solidarity to PO Box 11618, Swords, Co. Dublin, Ireland, and the people of Ireland are also encouraged to wear a white ribbon on June 10 in solidarity with the survivors. SOIAI is led by Christine Buckley, John Kelly, Noel Barry, Michael O’Brien.